:: Tuesday, May 31, 2005 ::

Well, here I sit, listening to the new Coldplay album named X & Y, after what has to be one of the most eventful summer days of my life. By the way, while I'm still thinking about it: This coldplay album is so-so so far. It sounds very generic and very Coldplay, and I was hoping for some sort of new direction or new sounds to trickle through. It's already growing on me on the second listen through, so I haven't given up hope yet. I still need my Husker Du to drown out Alex and his drum set during the day.

So anyways, Today. Today today today. My my. How about I just list everything that happened today and elaborate upon it. I think I remember the HTML for a list.

• Woke up, showered, and went to see Mr. Fred and everybody at his buisness to look for a job. It turns out I can't drive the dump truck due to insurance liabilities since I'm not 18 yet, but I will be helping out in the office. Phone answering, paper filing, bill paying, data entry, you know, office bitch stuff. But I'd much rather have fun being an office bitch than sit at home doing nothing. So yeah, I have a part-time job there several days a week which is awesome. I don't know pay or any type of schedule though. She was supposed to contact me back about that today but she didn't. Ah well.
  
  
• Came home, and left with mom to the DMV to get tags and registration for the Benz. Stopped at Burger King first (which was rather unsatisfactory). We arrive at the DMV only to discover much to our dismay that mom and dad both have to be present to transfer the deed over since both of their names are on it. Lovely. We stop in the vacuum store for a few minutes and browse before leaving.
  
  
• Since mom and I had some free time, we drove across the street to Crossroads Ford to take a peek at the new 2005 Mustangs. God they're hot. We stopped our car so we could get out and take a closer look. Mom turns to me and says, "James start your watch, no less than 30 seconds before somebody is out here." I smile and laugh. There wasn't a soul within sight, 100 yards of nothing but cars. Sure enough, after 35 seconds a guy walks out and starts talking with us about the mustang we were checking out. He was quite a nice fellow though for a car salesman; he had just retired from the army after 21 years (we thanked him) and was new at the job. Anyways, he asks if we'd like to look inside and my mother says sure. "well, would you like to crank her up, maybe let the top down?" "sure, why not." "wanna take her for a spin?" My mother smiles and says, "yeah, I think I would!" So we hop into a red 2005 Mustang tan-top convertible and go on our merry way. Those things ride so smooth and sexy. I want one really badly. I think mom and dad will trade in the escape when at least Tommy and I are off to college before they get one. They'll get a sports car though, since both love them so much.
  
  
• This is the real fun car stuff for the day. We come home so we can turn around an d take tommy to work, then head off to the bank, home depot/somewhere to look for furniture, and other errands. Tommy is driving us over to the garden center and gets into the left turn lane. We tell Tommy not to turn yet, he has a green light but not the right of way. He doesn't stop. We scream stop, and he doesn't stop. He freaks, and we get hit in the intersection by a black ford focus coming the other way. That's the second fucking time I've been in the seat of a car closest to where it was hit. Scared the shit out of me; it's the same setup that kassel died in, only in a little town intersection with two smaller cars. There isn't too much damage to the escape luckily; those plastic bumpers do their job well. The focus is kinda mashed up on the corner though. Tommy will take care of the $500 deductible cost and the cost of fixing the other person's car though, which is good. So yeah, car wreck. whew. Thank God nobody got hurt.
  
  
• I leave with the pontiac to Ace Hardware to have copies of my Benz key made. Much to my dismay, they don't copy my car model's keys! I did some online detective work and found out that I need to take the keys somewhere in Raleigh to get it done. Whoopee.
  
  
• Nathan comes over to help me test out my Atari 2600 I picked up in Wadesboro for $8. I should have haggled with the guy... I have no idea why I didn't. Anyways, we determine we need a little adapter and head over to radioshack at park place 16 for it. The fucking thing was $5.24!!! That's fucking ridiculous. The guy wasn't terribly helpful either. We stopped by Amante's pizza, but Maura wasn't working there (I think she's in Europe now!). We get home with the piece, only to find that our switch box is also a piece of shit and needs to be replaced. At least we got a (barely playable) signal. The box will be at least another $5, making the total cost spent on the fucker $18, which is ridiculous for a god damn old Atari that probably works. Blech. I'll find a cheapo box somewhere.
  

Am I forgetting anything? I hope not. I have a sort of headache. Last night was fun, just spending it with Megan. I can't talk with anybody else so relaxed like I can with her. Well, pretty much anybody (april hehe). She's a good listener. I think she's helped make me a better one myself. We watched the Miss Universe pageant. Canada won, but all the hot south american flavored girls gave her a run for her money. I love south american girls. but I digress.

My new gunbound download is almost finished, but I might go to sleep instead of play. I get to see megan tomorrow and set up everything with the Benz, then Nana thursday, then I dunno what friday, then the SAT on saturday! I don't know why I signed up to take it again. I don't think I'll do much better. I haven't really studied :/ I didn't know until today megan leaves saturday for New York and won't be back until in time for the pixies concert on the 12th. I will miss my megan...

OH SNAP I GOT MY PIXIES TICKETS IN THE MAIL TODAY HOT DAMN. Alright, g'night everyone.

:: Floydthebarber 5/31/2005 08:52:00 PM (0) comments [+] ::
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I hate stress. It's not even my stress. I wish it was; I think I'd be able to dispose of it quicker. I'm about to go crazy.

:: Floydthebarber 5/20/2005 11:18:00 PM (0) comments [+] ::
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I'm still worried after today. It scares me. Just the very thought scares me to death. The question is, how irrational is my fear? It started out very real. I can't remember the last time my heart raced so hard and I felt dizzy and nauseous and had to physically sit down and collect myself. I got home thinking, "hey, everything is back to normal." But something doesn't feel normal. It's probably just an aftershock. I am having a hard time adjusting from "I was thinking of breaking up with you" to "everything is just fine now." That last part is a lie - we both know everything isn't "just fine." Then again, what relationship ever is? Maybe it's just fine with her, but not me... no no, that can't be right it's both of us. I still just don't know. We talked and talked, and reached some good conclusions, but I'm still not seeing progress. For me, if I see a problem and recognize it, it's easy for me to take the next rational step and erradicate it from my mind. I have to remind myself that it's just not that simple for some people, and I get frustrated sometimes. I can't help it. I can't help a lot of things apparently.

I don't want it to even be a possibility. The fact that it was a possibility nay a likelihood less than 12 hours ago still lingers over me tonight I think. I don't know where lines should be drawn anymore. I think I have decided (and she knows this) to let her draw the lines for a while and see where that leads us. I've been drawing the lines for two years now and it's not working. I can't figure it out. Staying with her hasn't really helped her cause, but leaving sure as hell wouldn't help either. So what can I do? I feel rather worthless. No influence. God, my mind keeps floating back to the first message I got before I left immediately. It shouldn't. That moment is gone, those words mean nothing now that we've talked... or do they? No, no they don't. They can't. She said it herself. I just hope she didn't say it merely because I was there and she didn't want to feel worse, or didn't want to make me feel worse. I don't believe what she said at first. School is stressful she admitted that herself, and add that to self-confidence dilemmas you have one tired Megan. She didn't mean it.

I don't feel like going over mushy details in this blog. I love her dearly, I still do, and she says she loves me too. I think we just need to strike some middle ground between our wants and needs. Who is asking for too much? Should it be asked at all? Benefits, drawbacks... It's all rushing through my head. I hope this gets figured out soon. I have no way to rush it though, all out of my control, remember? God Dammit. I just hope I can last longer without everything figured out. I need something reassuring right now. The reassuring from the park seems to have worn off.

This is going to haunt me all day tomorrow when it shouldn't. Somebody say a little prayer for me (her too). Oh, and a prayer for my Nana. Goodnight.

:: Floydthebarber 5/18/2005 10:19:00 PM (0) comments [+] ::
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To the girl that reads this frequently (and isn't April or Megan):

I want to talk to you. I had no idea. Maybe you thought telling me would just hurt me. That's probably it, but the thought of the alternatives are so horrendous. I'm always here. I may not be the greatest listener in the world, but I try. I have in the past and it seemed to work. Even if it's just keeping up with the little day-to-day things, I would like that. Some problems are beyond my scope, but I wish you wouldn't hide them from me. I can't imagine how much I would hate myself for letting you slip. Please call me (481-3744 oh no phone number on the internet) or if you don't have any privacy due to the family, floydthebarber@gmail.com works perfectly. I'm listening, so go ahead and spill it all. Or nothing at all if you want; just knowing you are still around makes me smile.


To everyone else: I enjoy herb alpert and I am going to go study pre-calculus before going to sleep. Pretty hum-drum stuff. Why the fuck is parking $120 at the school? Sheesh... I demand a copy of the budget!

:: Floydthebarber 5/11/2005 10:01:00 PM (0) comments [+] ::
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Well, here I am at home. I was hoping to go see Megan tonight, but lo and behold, she gets sick! I feel bad for being angry at her about it. I can't help myself, even though I know it's not her fault she got sick. I'm really just mad at the situation and not her. I get to see her what, twice a week? maybe three? I hate waiting the whole week for one person, one evening, then having that evening ripped away from me due to circumstances beyond my control. Man, that's an angsty thing to say. School, School, School, School, School, then OH WAIT sitting at home alone because she is sick and all of my friends are busy. Quite a downer. Tomorrow I have to do my Eagle Project (yay finish that up), then referee two games, then hopefully I can see Megan. If she's still sick, I don't know what the hell I'll do. Hell, even if she is better she won't be in a nice uppity mood, but some sort of really tired and boring one. Goodie. Hey, I could always go to a gathering tomorrow night! Just what I want! No time alone with Megan ever! Sunday is another soccer game to referee, then my own soccer game (with some party thing afterwards, oh goodie!). I love it when things are so predictably, cookie cutter boring.

Man I'm whining a lot here tonight! I don't really know why I'm blogging at all; my wrist hurts from writing so much at a funny angle so intensely during the AP US History Exam. About that exam... I think I did fairly well. At least, I know I did well compared to some kids who I talked with that didn't have a clue what to say for either the DBQ or one of the essays. I forgot the name of stephen douglas' legislation, THE FUCKING KANSAS-NEBRASKA ACT ar;askdfasf but I talked about it along with lots of other things so whatever. I think I did fine on the whole thing. The AP Environmental Science test I will have to almost completely BS, and I'm sure I'll do poorly on it. I blame it on a poorly structured curriculum by Mrs. Cobbs. She's really nice and all, but nice does not mean a good teacher obviously. Ah well.

I think tonight I'll finish up Puyo Pop Fever and write up a review. Then I'll talk with dad about sending out Eagle Scout letters, maybe print out the merit badge stuff I need to submit to finish off two merit badges (that'll feel nice). It'll be a productive weekend, but a rather nondramatic one. I think I blame the weather; it's been so cloudy and blech. Aight later!


Sorry all four people that read this had to go through such a bitchy monologue. But hey, what else is the internet for!

:: Floydthebarber 5/06/2005 04:16:00 PM (0) comments [+] ::
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date event quantity ticket type delivery type subtotal
6/12/2005 7:00:00 PM Pixies 2 General Admission UPS 2nd Day Air (Domestic) $70.00 USD


ticket total shipping fees service fees ORDER TOTAL
$70.00 USD
$9.00 USD
$13.80 USD
$92.80 USD

PIXIES PIXIES PIXIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

:: Floydthebarber 5/05/2005 02:41:00 PM (0) comments [+] ::
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I think the problem many times with blogging is that by the time I get home, situated, and ready to type, I've already exasperated the subjects which I would write about by talking about it with people throughout the day. Prom is another example. I'll just say that prom was a lot of fun; the prom itself was a little disappointing due to the fact that they played 100% hip hop and rap the whole time (even the slow songs were R&B ish); the best song they played all night was Push It (extended version) by Salt N' Peppa. Oh well. I went out, danced, saw people (April!!!!!, Hannie, Katie Hart, Rachel Clark, Evan Brothers, lots of folks I never see anymore), and had a pretty good time.

After prom we went back to Liz's house, which was arguably more fun than the prom itself. We played DDR on her HUGE HDTV (I'm talking the biggest one that is made - a 72" I think), hung out, and ended up watching Meet The Fockers (which didn't end until after 4 am) until everybody went to bed. Good times.

Oh, and this is an assbackwards way of referencing it, but the dinner before prom was great. I love kabuki.

Anyways, here are pictures of Megan and I before leaving for Prom (hopefully I can get ahold of other people's photo's like Corey and Matt):



The best part of this picture is Megan's dad in the background. Oh, and doesn't she look gorgeous? I am one dapper fellow myself if I may say so.

There's about 987098370987 versions of this picture taken on three different cameras. Not the best one (I need to do some red-eye reduction), but you get the idea. Weeeee prom.

Time to do other things like study for math and clean, bye!

:: Floydthebarber 5/01/2005 07:04:00 PM (0) comments [+] ::
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