:: Friday, October 10, 2003 ::

One final Hoorah, Ladies and Gentlemen! I don't post for other people's benefit necesserily anyways, so I'm going to get all this fucking shit about Christina off of my chest, once and for all. I feel comfortable sharing our final conversation with the rest of the world. Feedback is most appreciated. This is over the span of three or so days.

> > > --- Steena wrote:
> > > > (you and megan) Need to go f*ck yourselfs, shes gay, your gay, your both stupid..
> > > > "little things pile up." that is sure familiar


Date: Sat, 4 Oct 2003 22:25:37 -0700 (PDT)
From: "James Freeman" | This is spam | Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: You and Megan...
To: "Steena"

hmmm? Is this really christina talking? I'm not quite sure what your "little things pile
up" reference is to, could you please elaborate? I'm always here to talk, and I don't
like leaving things on a bad note; I left the ball in your court to try and just say
something to me and i'll be responsive.

The last time you said anything like this to me, I let it get to me too much, agonizing
over your words of how you hated me and such. It only turned out that you were joking
around and it was the worst thing ever all I wanted was an apology. I'll assume you're
just typing this with no meaning behind it because 1) if you meant it, you'd say it to my
face 2) you'd supply some sort of explanation. I'd much rather be stupid with her than
anything else, but if you want to talk with me and reverse these little insults you've
resulted to then that's cool. I'll stop whatever it was before. Call me on the phone or
better than that. Don't just label me gay or i'll retreat even more. *sigh*


> --- Steena wrote:
> > Shut-up.


> -----Original Message-----
> From: James Freeman [mailto:floydthebarber18@yahoo.com]
> Sent: Tuesday, October 07, 2003 7:51 PM
> To: Steena
> Subject: RE: You and Megan...
>
> you confronted me with insults, so I'm assuming you want to talk with
> me. Or at least you
> were thinking of me, which is good I guess. What's going on with
> christina these days?
> I'm in the dark...
>
> I don't love you anymore. but I do care about you.


teena wrote:
> What in hell makes you think I love you, or even like you???!!!!
> That's what your problem was before; you couldn't stop accusing me of
> being in love with you or something. I'm not.


Date: Wed, 8 Oct 2003 17:09:09 -0700 (PDT)
From: "James Freeman" | This is spam | Add to Address Book
Subject: RE: You and Megan...
To: "Steena"


uh nothing, but you sent me an email... so I guess you had something to say to me @_@

-------------- I sent a second emale that day -------------

Date: Wed, 8 Oct 2003 18:11:51 -0700 (PDT)
From: "James Freeman" | This is spam | Add to Address Book
Subject: I'm Clearing Cobwebs
To: "Steena"


I never said I thought you loved me. Fucking christ, I stopped thinking about any love at
all between us anywhere well over a fucking year ago. I am assuming you're thinking of
me, which in turn makes me assume you don't absolutely hate me. And if you do, I deserve
to know why. I'm really sorry you don't want to be friends with me anymore; If you'd just
give me a fucking explanation about what you REALLY are feeling, this can all be put away
forever like you want. Is it a crime to still care about you even if you hate my fucking
guts? I stand by the fact that I never did anything major to hurt you, and that most of
it was constructed in your own mind.


--- Steena wrote:
> You're clearing cobwebs, and I have nothing to clear. I regret even
> notifying you about your sappy life, I wasn't jealous at all, just
> angry.
> Feelings can't be explained, or even put into words. So maybe you
> should just stop reading into to every freaking thing that someone says.
> You were doing it to Anna too, and that's what was making her upset.
> You never help.
> You continue to twist things up, and un-ravel what need not be brought
> up.
> Stop Analyzing Everything, and maybe if you react with your heart and
> soul, instead of what your brain tells you, you could actually
> comprehend the feelings that are associated with life. But, since it is
> such a terrible habit of yours, telling it to you, probably wont make a
> difference at all.
> Just forget it, and leave everyone else's life and the things they say:
> Alone.


And finally, James bows out
Date: Fri, 10 Oct 2003 17:52:01 -0700 (PDT)
From: "James Freeman" | This is spam | Add to Address Book
Subject: This is all I have left... Drained Me.
To: "Steena"


How can I have such a "sappy life" If I didn't react with feelings? They just aren't
unrestrained, crazy feelings like you always have. I guess you're right; I have no place
in your life or Annas or Jen's or anybody else like that who is wrapped up in personal
shit. I don't help or whatever like I used to; All I seem to be useful for nowadays is
clinging to Megan. I only learned to comprehend the feelings I have once I met her.
You're speaking from your point of view; I would hate to think that everybody wants me to
leave them alone like you do.

This all started when you told me you were moving and I got upset. I had every right to
be upset I wasn't frowning on what you're doing. I was listening to my heart and that's
why I got upset you were going. And you're gone. Maybe you're just trying to push
everybody away before you have to move so that they won't effect you so much when you
leave them. Thanks a lot. It's not that I can't associate the feelings that go along with
life; It's simply that in the past months I am unable to understand YOUR feelings on
life. My advice and learning about other people's life's and feelings has been sound as
it always has. People do not always like to hear the truth and I am not one to dress shit
up that explains why people like Anna get flustered with me sometimes- hell it upsets
Megan a lot too. But that's life.

I'm not going to play this little game where I listen to you and push myself into a
corner- if anything it's YOU who is pushing yourself away from everybody, both physically
by moving and emotionally. I just wanted to laugh with you a few more times, and enjoy
what you have to say and be able to tell you all the things that were on my mind, and get
something out of it. I can't quite pinpoint when it became wrong for me to come to you
with what's going on in my life and you stopped helping me out, and I stopped trying my
best to help you out. I haven't changed since those times. You have. I haven't been doing
anything different in the past, say, three months. Please don't accuse me of being a
heartless bastard towards everybody. I hated taking your picture out of the frame on my
dresser in the corner and replacing it with another of my new group of friends.

You just don't want to explain what you're feeling to me because you know yourself that
it doesn't make any sense. You've now become the little girl who clamps their hands over
their ears and yells LALALALALLALA when things are presented to them. Don't ever take
shots at me regarding other friends like Anna I'm doing my fucking best I am not a big
people person. People don't listen. Why have you gotten so cold hearted? I miss your
eyes. I guess I'll always miss your eyes. Have fun in new york, and if you see any bums
playing flute on the street, maybe you'll think of me (for better or for worse). I've got
all I need here in NC, I was hoping to end things on a good note with you, there's no
reason not to. Fine, I give up. There have been worse tragedies than somebody not caring
about me. It just hurts when I was there so much, that's all. Sweet dreams...


Feedback please.

:: Floydthebarber 10/10/2003 08:51:00 PM [+] ::
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